Bachelorette alum Hannah Brown spoke out in an emotional Instagram Live on Saturday, May 30, two weeks after sparking controversy for using the N-word.
Dressed down in a T-shirt and pink baseball cap, the Dancing With the Stars winner, 25, appeared shaky and nervous as she appeared to look down at notes as she addressed fans.
Brown admitted that she was drunk when she uttered the racial slur while trying to remember the TikTok dance moves to DaBaby‘s “Rockstar” during an Instagram Live on May 16.
The subsequent outcry — and criticism from Bachelor Nation stars including Rachel Lindsay and Bekah Martinez — led to her posting a written apology message on her Instagram Stories before going silent on social media.
On Saturday, Brown said that her initial statement was “never supposed to be the end of the conversation, just the beginning,” and that she had hired an “educator” to help her learn while she has spent time reading, journaling, educating herself and praying.
“I don’t want to be ignorant anymore,” Brown said. “I don’t want to be an ignorant white girl who uses the N-word. But I also don’t want be someone who goes on their platform intoxicated and engages with their platform that way. … I have learned that there are things that I cannot say. …There is so much more historical context that I didn’t know that makes it so much more inappropriate.”
Speaking to her fans, she added, “I’m really thankful for people who believe in me and support me … But if you want to support me, do not defend me. What I did and what i said was indefensible. Do not send hateful messages to people who are holding me accountable. … Go on this journey with me. Take the resources that I have and let’s go on this journey together. … I am no longer ignorant and I am no longer going to be part of the problem.”
Brown admitted that what she has learned and taken away from the experience has “changed” her life.
“I will keep doing whatever I can to learn more and support the solution in all this,” she concluded, acknowledging that there are “a lot of people hurting and a lot of people angry, rightfully.”
A source previously told Us Weekly that the N-word “is not and never has been part of Hannah’s vocabulary” and that she was “really embarrassed and ashamed” over what she did.
“She did not intentionally say the N-word, but she understands that she was completely in the wrong and also understands why people are upset with her,” the insider said. “She sees this as a major lesson and is truly sorry.”
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